


Nat & Maria's Emotional, Sexual Bender

by cinelitchick



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Endgame? What's that?, F/F, Feel-good, Intimacy, Laughter, Love Confessions, Marvel References, Oral Sex, Pegging, Romance, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:08:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29739903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinelitchick/pseuds/cinelitchick
Summary: After sleeping together for six weeks in secret following the defeat of Thanos in Wakanda, Natasha Romanoff and Maria Hill have reached a crossroads in their relationship. The moment they have dreaded is here: end it or go all in. Each is scared of losing the best thing to ever happen to them. If they aren't completely honest with each other, it could cost them everything.One snowy evening in January, Natasha and Maria have a conversation that takes them on an emotional journey with interludes of sex and laughter.
Relationships: Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	Nat & Maria's Emotional, Sexual Bender

**Author's Note:**

> I love the idea of Nat and Maria as a couple. Since I'm never going to see them become canon onscreen (like every other should-be couple in the Marvel Cinematic Universe), I took it upon myself to make it so on the page. In my headcanon (and in my heart), they are one of my main MCU OTPs. Right up there with Tony and Strange, Bruce and Thor, and Bucky and Steve. 
> 
> These ladies have so much in common and have just enough differences to keep things interesting. Not to mention their chemistry is nothing but fireworks. It sucks we weren't gifted with more shared screen time for Nat and Maria. This way, I get to enjoy them a little more.
> 
> The story is a companion to my Stucky one-shot, Mad Boy's Love Song. It takes place during the same snowy January weekend in Brooklyn.
> 
> As for the title, it is inspired by the Janelle Monae song, Make Me Feel.

AIR STRUGGLED TO fill her lungs.

Her heart pounded in her chest.

She had forgotten how to breathe for a few seconds.

Lips against her pale skin glistened with sweat.

A reminder; snapped back to reality by such a simple gesture.

Only it wasn't simple.

Nothing about the woman to whom those lips belonged was simple.

Nor were her feelings about the woman who lay in her bed.

Brown tendrils, not her own, wound around her fingers.

_I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve anything even close to her. I will steal every moment possible and stretch it out as best I can without distortion._

_When it’s done, there will be no regrets._

_No what ifs._

_No if onlys._

_A clean break._

Natasha Romanoff knew she was lying to herself. Maybe before there might have been a chance of a clean break. Before the battle that nearly cost the world half its populace. Before her eyes were opened to what she had been avoiding. Now the idea of being without her was unfathomable.

It had started out as friendly banter when they had met, but a deep respect blossomed as she got to know Maria Hill better. From that respect, a friendship was born. Natasha never had a female friend she could trust and rely on until Maria. Recently, she also had developed ties with Wanda Maximoff and Okoye, two colleagues from her work with the Avengers. Having these ladies in her life meant the world to Natasha. Especially as she had been surrounded by men, for better and worse, her entire life.

With Maria, it was different. Natasha felt as though she had an ally with whom she could share her life — the good, the bad, and the ugly. There was so much of her past she felt she needed to atone for that made a future with Maria seem impossible in her mind. Her friends would balk at such narcissism, especially her soul brother Clint Barton.

He had brought her into the heroes-saving-the-world life; a world which had become much more colorful and superpowered in recent years. Clint had seen something in her that he liked and — more to the point — related to, allowing her to be given a second chance. They were more than best friends, they were two halves of the same coin. Natasha always sort of envied Clint’s apple pie life with his wife, adorable children, and farm away from all the flash their jobs inevitably brought. Despite his own dark past, he had found his way into the light. She was so proud of him.

Clint wanted her to find that peace, too. They had talked about it at length on numerous occasions yet here she was possibly on the verge of something real with this gorgeous brunette naked in her bed and running scared.

Scared of ruining what they shared.

Scared of losing the woman she loved.

Scared of being alone after this brush with pure, undiluted happiness.

She and Maria had never broached the topic of taking their affair out of the shadows. To their knowledge, no one knew they were sleeping together; had been for six weeks. Since the day she had returned from that battle. Not even Clint was aware; though Natasha believed he suspected something. He knew her too well not to be suspicious. It wouldn’t surprise her in the least if he had worked it all out and was keeping it close to the vest. It would be so like him — not calling her out on something this sensitive, letting her come to him when she was ready to tell her secret.

There’s the rub.

While discretion in their line of work was of utmost importance (as was a work-life balance from what she could glean from Clint’s and her other friends’ romances), it was another thing to keep Maria a secret from the people she cared for most. Natasha had vowed to not make their relationship public since she had been so certain it wasn’t long for this world. 

Her past relationships had been part of undercover missions, where she played the part successfully — only to lament the absence of someone to come home to once the ruse was over. She had scolded herself for allowing herself to feel so acutely. It had been driven into her at an early age that her life had been forfeited for a greater cause. Normal was something she would never know from personal experience; forever a concept of which to feign great knowledge. 

Never had she been interested in someone beyond a one-night stand. Natasha had sexual urges like most women; needs that demanded to be met. On those occasions she would seek out a suitable companion (never a colleague, always a total stranger; cleaner that way) and get off with him or her. A threesome or any kind of group sex was verboten. She preferred to keep it simple; easier to focus on the objective. Not to mention fewer witnesses.

_Now if we’re talking about combat fighting…. The more the merrier, I say. This busy girl’s gotta get her workout in somehow_ , she reflected.

It was these quiet moments with Maria after sex that made her doubt her convictions. It allowed her to push the indoctrination — love is for the weak — deep inside her mind, to a place where she could lock it away forever. Free of testaments she neither agreed with nor believed in, Natasha dreamt of a life of which she could be proud. A dangerous yet fulfilling job which allowed her to help those in need. A lover and partner to share it all with. She knew if they agreed to test the waters as an actual couple these tender moments would also occur outside the bedroom and more than likely on a regular basis — the notion both thrilling and terrifying in equal measure.

“Ouch!”

A sharp pain cut into her reverie, fading as quickly as it had appeared. Her green eyes met her lover’s blue ones. In the distance beyond, flakes were falling outside the trio of bedroom windows. Street lights illuminated the soft white precipitation in the darkness. Brooklyn, New York, was being transformed into a winter wonderland on this Friday evening in January. Natasha felt her annoyance melt like snow kissed by sunlight when greeted by the warmth emanating from Maria, whose chin was resting on Natasha’s stomach.

“What was that for?” she pouted, rubbing the offended area.

“I lost you. Had to bring you back. It’s boring here without you,” Maria explained. “Besides, I’m doing quality tongue work on your belly button and I’d rather you not be somewhere else so you can properly appreciate it.”

Natasha smiled softly, running her fingers through those dark locks once more. “Sorry. Continue.”

Maria shook her head, tilting it back and closing her eyes to enjoy her lover’s touch. “You snooze, you lose.”

“Please, baby. I’ll be good.”

“We both know you’ll break that promise.” The brunette grinned. “Badass in life and bad girl in bed. It’s why we’re so good together.”

Her blue eyes were bright when they focused back on Natasha, who froze as she watched Maria crawl up to her till their faces were only inches apart.

“This is the part where you try to convince me we’re not, _lisichka_.”

  
  
  
  


READING PEOPLE WAS second nature to Maria. It had helped her survive life with her brothers and deal with inept adults growing up, and later as she rose through the ranks of the now-defunct intelligence agency where she previously had worked. Not everyone was an easy read. Those people fascinated her as she really had to study them to work out their tells. Some were simply unreadable. This caused her some degree of frustration when she came across them, forcing her to discard them like a book she couldn’t finish because it was written in a language she couldn’t decipher.

Natasha guarded herself well, making any interested parties work for her attention, which instantly gained Maria’s. She observed how the Russian moved and operated; body language was key as Natasha’s emotions were closed off like a tap that had run dry. Friendly yet reserved. No nonsense with a dash of dark humor. She could kick your ass without breaking a sweat. It was like finding a kindred spirit.

As it happened, she wasn’t the only one keeping an eye out. The redhead had confided once they became friends that she had “spent more times than was healthy watching you to see if there were any chinks in your armor. Damned if I could find any. So here we are.” Maria had smiled wryly at the time and admitted that was how she felt about Natasha.

They grew closer as the days, months, years went by. A bond developed that allowed them both to remove their armor and expose themselves for who they were. Because of that connection, Maria finally learned how to read her friend. When she realized she had acquired the ability, it made her feel accomplished … and honored. Natasha had allowed her to know her like her family (the mystery around her biological kin lingered) and Clint. That kind of access was rare. Maria cherished it above all else.

Which was how she knew what was rolling around in her lover’s brain right now. When Natasha had zoned out, Maria sharpened her focus while lazily playing with Natasha’s belly button. They had come to the point in their relationship where it was time to define it, a concern for someone whose past was as murky as Natasha’s.

Maria was aware the past haunted the spy and assassin, preventing her from finding long-term happiness in the arms of another as she insisted her focus be on her work and atoning for her sins. This had become Natasha’s top priority since Clint had brought her in from the cold, showing her there was a way to reconcile the person she was with the person she wanted to be. The Avengers, the superhero collective to which the trio belonged, also had helped ease her guilty conscience without entirely dissipating it. With them, Natasha became the hero she longed to be even when the odds (and the world-at-large) were against her.

As far as Maria was concerned, if anyone had earned a shot at a happily ever after, it was Natasha Romanoff.

_For that matter, so have I,_ she ruminated. _Not to be that girl, but I’ve done my due diligence. I help make the world a safer place every day. I’ve watched my friends be rewarded with their ideal partners. I’ve found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with and I know she feels the same. Where the hell is our happy ending?_

When Natasha showed up on Maria’s doorstep as soon as she returned to New York, Maria hadn’t known what to make of it. This had immediately followed the Avengers’ defeat of the tyrant Thanos, who had vowed to reduce the world’s population by fifty percent for the greater good, half a world away. There had been an indescribable glean in Natasha’s eyes then that made Maria’s breath catch. Her instincts had told her what the look meant, but she refused to believe it.

An affair was what she had agreed to despite knowing it was a huge mistake. Affairs end. By the time that moment at her door had transpired, Maria had acclimated to the truth: She was head over heels in love with her best friend. It still terrified her how she gambled on their friendship. The alternative was unbearable. So Maria rolled the dice with mixed results. While the added benefits of sex, deeper shared intimacy, and late night Chinese takeout while watching a show or movie on the couch were everything she could have ever wanted, there also was the painful aftermath after each encounter.

Every time she separated from Natasha after sex, Maria felt cold and hollow. One time the sheets on her bed had barely cooled from Natasha’s absence when Maria cried herself to sleep. She hated how wrecked every encounter with the Russian left her. Even more so because she knew the time was coming when an ultimatum would be delivered. While she hoped and prayed (her relationship with God was rocky at best, but nevertheless she turned to him) the result would be different, in her bones she believed their end — as lovers and as friends — was nigh.

Now, she watched the pupils in those green eyes dilate following her challenge. Maria was ready to fight for this woman. The gauntlet thrown, she would defeat any doubt Natasha might have and crush any concerns that lingered. This battle for her lover’s heart wasn’t completely selfish for she knew deep in her soul this would be a win for them both. After years of bad dates, unsatisfying one-night stands (even if the sex were mind-blowing, that’s all it would ever be), poor relationships, drunken make out sessions, and whatever else, they were on the precipice of something extraordinary.

_We’d be amazing together if she would just lean into it. I know she wants to. Hell, we already are. Not even talking about the sex, which damn. I mean, not to brag, but if we had powers like Wanda or Strange, this place would be smoke and ashes._

Their friends Wanda Maximoff and Stephen Strange were powerful beings who used magic and sorcery to help keep the world safe … and weren’t above using their gifts to hance their sex lives with their respective partners. The duo were who Maria intended to use as evidence when presenting her case to Natasha. All their friends, really, were examples of how they could work if she only took a chance.

“We are good together.” 

The words were said softly as Natasha took Maria’s shoulder-length brown hair into her hands, pressing them to the nape of the other woman’s neck and caressing the spot just behind Maria’s ears with her thumbs. Spots which were erogenous zones for Maria; something which also could be used against her in this particular court.

“I know we are. Instead of me trying to convince you otherwise, why don’t you prove to me why going all in is the natural next step? It’s a big leap from having an affair to being in a committed relationship.”

Maria sat back onto Natasha’s thighs while the redhead remained in a reclined position with a pillow sitting upright behind her back, supporting her spine. Neither seemed to be bothered they were having this discussion naked in bed, no sheets or blankets called into service. If they were having a raw, honest discussion why bother sliding under the covers or putting on a shirt?

“Is this about Bruce?”

“What?” Natasha stared at her incredulously. “Why would you even bring him up? We weren’t even sleeping together. We only just made it past the awkward flirting stage.”

“Because the last time you put yourself out there, he left the planet and essentially returned with an Asgardian god as his boyfriend.”

The women stared at each other silently for a long moment.

“Well that didn’t take long,” Natasha declared pointedly, hands resting one on top of the other just below her breasts.

“I’m not going to mince words. All’s fair in love and war,” Maria philosophized, before adding, “Not like it isn’t true.”

Bruce Banner and Natasha had a faint attraction for each other once upon a time that had barely gotten off the ground when he bailed in Tony Stark’s Quinjet for planets unknown after a particularly deadly battle that saw many innocent lives lost. He and his alter ego The Hulk were manipulated into causing mass destruction, leading Hulk to call a timeout — effectively taking Bruce with him. By the time Bruce had returned to Earth in time for the most recent battle royale, he had met up with Thor — son of the late Asgardian king Odin and de facto ruler of what is now New Asgard, a Norwegian village filled with the surviving residents of the lately destroyed realm — and the two had bonded in ways no one ever expected.

“You’re right. Thor is Bruce’s boyfriend and what we had was … negligible. I see them together and it blows my mind how crazy I was to think Bruce and I could work. He and I have a nice chemistry, but they are so much in love….”

She didn't finish her sentence. Her gaze drifted to the right, to a space not visible to the other party.

Maria slapped her lover’s hip, returning Natasha to the moment and her gaze where it belonged. “If your defense against us is you and Bruce not working out, then I’ll drag in all my past crushes and exes. Not everyone is compatible.”

“And we are?” Natasha shot back sarcastically.

“Yes.”

No response followed. Maria took the cowed look on her lover’s face as acceptance and pressed on with her case.

“You know, Bruce and Thor are just one reason why us being an official couple isn’t so insane.” She paused to judge Natasha’s receptiveness to her continuing. The last thing she wanted to do was push the redhead into the defensive zone. However, her body language revealed Natasha was keeping an open mind. 

_Let’s hope her heart is open, too,_ Maria wished fervently _._

“Most of our friends are happy, solid couples. But think about these, in particular: Tony and Stephen. Bucky and Steve. Clint and Laura. Even Wanda found peace and joy with Vision before he died.”

Silence permeated the room, threatening to suffocate them both. For a split second, Maria thought she had gone too far in bringing up Vision, a synthezoid who had been more human in his short life than most of the people she had met. His death had happened a few weeks ago during that final battle in Wakanda, an African country whose own King T’Challa was also the Avenger known as Black Panther and where Vision had sacrificed himself for the greater good. Wanda had found redemption for the blood on her hands through his love and now remained in mourning while secluding herself in an undisclosed location. Maria suspected Clint knew where Wanda was as they had developed a deep friendship; if so, he was keeping it to himself as not even Natasha could find her.

Giving her lover’s hand a squeeze as both lay limply on her stomach, Maria got up off the bed and threw on the Blondie T-shirt she had been wearing earlier. It was on top of the zipped hoodie she had worn over it. She pulled her phone out of the back pocket of her jeans, discarded a few feet away from where the tee had lain. No sooner had she opened the bedroom door, a sound from the bed made her stop and turn her head.

“Some girlfriend you are.” Natasha sat upright, legs folded cross-style in front of her, eyebrow arched. “Sneaking out before I can even tell you, ‘You win.’”

  
  
  
  


MARIA CROSSED HER arms over her chest, phone still in hand. She stuck one leg out to the side, her face blank and eyes dead. It was how she handled suspects during interrogations when she didn’t believe a word they said no matter how well they sold it.

This reaction wasn’t unexpected. Natasha had hoped to avoid this part, but honestly there wasn’t exactly an alternative considering her seemingly abrupt about-face. If the tables had been turned, the result would have been the same. Part of her would always believe she didn’t deserve the brunette goddess standing across the room from her, but Natasha had listened to Maria as she called bullshit on their ending things just when they were getting to the good part.

_Because let’s be real. It’s all or nothing and like hell am I going to let her walk away,_ Natasha rationalized _._ _We’ve been past that from the moment we started sleeping together. I was just too chicken shit to admit it. Time to lock it down, Romanoff._

The three main couples Maria had presented as evidence were enough to crumble what little resistance Natasha had reserved. Tony Stark. Bucky Barnes. Clint Barton. They all were like her in that they all had red in their ledger. They also didn’t let it define them — or at least worked like hell to ensure it didn’t. 

Tony prided himself on being a billionaire philanthropist who had seen the error of his ways. Hell, he built an entire legacy as Iron Man off it. He also had put his money where his mouth was by making Stark Industries (and Avengers headquarters in upstate New York) eco-friendly in a bid to promote solar energy. Thank God he had boyfriend Stephen Strange, the former surgeon turned Sorcerer Supreme, to keep his ego in check. Though Natasha wasn’t certain who would win should each man’s id, ego, and superego got into a fight.

_I’d pay good money to watch that_ , she thought as her mind drifted.

Bucky had spent the past two years coming to terms with his history as the assassin known as the Winter Soldier. Having been mindfucked and surgically toyed with by an intelligence agency whose own dark agenda ran counterpoint to that of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division) — the agency that had previously employed Natasha, Maria, and Clint before its own destruction — it hadn’t been easy for Bucky to accept who he had become after all the carnage he had left in his wake as the Winter Soldier. Natasha was aware her dear friend still had his dark days. Luckily, her other close pal Steve Rogers had stepped up. It had been a relief hearing him admit he had been in love with the man he had considered a brother all his life.

_Bucky totally knows Maria and I are together._ The truth hit her suddenly. _That look at dinner the other night when we talked about weekend plans…. Damn, I have no poker face when it comes to her._

Where was she? Right.

Found families.

Clint had been repairing his own ledger since before they met. Natasha hadn’t been there at the beginning with him, just as he hadn’t been there for hers. Even so, they had recognized something in the other that she hadn’t seen in anyone else. A darkness with a flame of hope flickering wildly. It was enough to form a bond that had been sealed years ago by their mission to Budapest when they both worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. His hope grew when he met Laura and now with their three children, he was happier than ever. Looking at him these days, Natasha saw the inverse of what was; a bit of darkness surrounded by the bright light of hope.

She watched Maria now, seeing that exact aura shining bright despite her guard being up. The archness faded from her own features as she reached out, hand extended toward the woman she loved. It wasn’t so quick an admission from her point of view. Six weeks of sex, plus an intense connection that had predated it by some years.

“You better not be fucking with me, Romanoff.” Maria wanted to believe, but she didn’t want to be burned. Not when she had stood close to the flame for so long.

“I would never fuck with you. Not when it’s so much fun fucking you.” A tiny grin formed as Natasha raised one corner of her mouth. It had been impossible to resist making the snarky remark. She saw that mask slipping from Maria’s features and made her move. “Get your ass over here, Hill. Let me convince you.”

Holding Maria’s hand in hers, she tugged her back onto the bed wishing the tee the other woman wore was back on the floor where it belonged. At least the phone was dropped on top of her jeans. _If I get this right, the shirt goes away and Maria stays._

_Forever._

_No pressure._

Maria folded her legs in front of her, leaning back to balance the weight on her hands. “Go on, then. Convince me.”

There was the bold, brassy woman Natasha had fallen for; recognizing her made the redhead’s heart beat faster. “It’s simple. You were right. About Bruce. About my lame reasons for pushing you away. About why we’re just as deserving of being one of those obnoxiously enamored couples.”

“They weren’t lame,” Maria countered. “Just because I thought they were horribly wrong doesn’t mean they weren’t valid.”

A smile attempted to push its way onto Natasha’s lips, but she resisted revealing it for now. “I appreciate that. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Maria gestured toward her lover. “Continue. You were saying how I was right. Hearing that never gets old.”

_She’s enjoying this. Good._ Natasha was beaming inside, her heart pounding in her chest. _Now keep talking. Stay in the moment. Speak from the heart. Christ, this is scarier than pretty much any bad guy I’ve ever fought. This is why I don’t open myself up to just anybody. Give me a berserker with nothing to lose any day._

“The bottom line is that I want you in my life, in my bed. I want to be with you every second of every day and as someone who cherishes her privacy that is fucking terrifying. When I saw you about to leave, I was, like, ‘What the hell are you doing?! Stop her, dumbass!’ So, I did.”

Maria quirked an eyebrow. “Answer me one question.”

The redhead squared her shoulders. “Shoot.”

“What was it that made you come to me after Wakanda? I’ve been dying to know, but afraid to ask.” Her smugness had been replaced by unfettered curiosity. A haunted look flitted across her features briefly.

“Fear. You were my first thought once Thanos was dead. The realization of how close we had come to losing half of Earth’s population. Of how if Thor hadn’t went for the head….” Natasha worried her bottom lip. “We … _I_ had come so close to losing you that day. I needed to see for myself that you were okay. And you were. You were glowing. You had just come back from a run. Suddenly, seeing you wasn’t enough. I needed all of you.”

A soft chuckle blew out of Maria as a mystery had been solved. “ _That’s_ what that look was about. Goddamn it. I was right.”

“I only suggested we call it an affair,” Natasha continued, “because I freaked out after we slept together. This was never an affair. Not really. Pretty sure we can both admit that now.”

Pushing herself upright, Maria nodded and smiled ruefully. “I was just going to get some water. I only took my phone to give you more time to think while I checked my notifications.” 

She leaned in and took Natasha’s hands in hers, her eyes never breaking contact. “Thank you for your honesty. I wish you had just said all this back then. Would have saved me so much pain.” 

A shake of her head was the only acknowledgement she gave the overwhelming remorse flooding Natasha’s senses. “Hear me: I second _everything_ you said about the bottom line and I am damn thrilled you came to your senses, _lisichka_.”

Natasha leaned in, as well, grateful wet eyes contrasting a beatific look dancing on her features. “That’s the second time tonight you’ve called me ‘little fox’ in Russian.”

“You like it.” Maria wrinkled her nose briefly; her own eyes shimmering. She had read on a blog that the term revved the engine of Russian redheads, a fact that she immediately wanted to put to the test.

“I love it.” Natasha paused. “I love you. I just wanted you to know that.”

When was the last time she had said that in any sense? And meant it? Natasha flicked through the pages of one of the many scrapbooks of her life that resided in her memory, unable to find a single instance. With her past, it didn’t surprise her though it did make her sad. Until she realized Maria would be the beneficiary of so many firsts. This filled her with an ebullience that again made her eyes wet with unshed tears.

“I love you, too, but that doesn’t mean you get to hog all the firsts!” Maria captured her mouth for a sweet, intense kiss that Natasha never wanted to end. Eventually, it did. “There. First kiss as girlfriends.”

The pride Maria took in this declaration had a laugh bubbling out of Natasha. It ceased when her girlfriend caressed her cheek and gazed at her in such a way that her insides turned to liquid.

Slowly, Maria’s hand rose to those red locks, glowing warmly in the dim light of the floor lamp next to the bed. “Thank God you went back to being a ginger.”

“You didn’t like the blonde?”

“No, I did. Not as much as the red. It suits you.” Maria carded her fingers through Natasha’s hair from the temple back. “Girlfriends braid each other’s hair, you know.”

Natasha swatted her hand away. “We’re not doing that.”

“They also borrow each other’s lipstick,” Maria ran her forefinger over Natasha’s naturally plump lips.

Again her hand was swatted away. “Not doing that either.”

Maria ran her eyes over her girlfriend’s curves, from breasts to hips, which were on full display as Natasha never bothered to cover herself up. Her gaze landed on Natasha’s bush, sliding two fingers inside. She grinned upon hearing the gasp that exploded from her lover.

“Sometimes, they even like pegging.”

This time, Natasha gripped Maria’s wrist as those fingers ceased pumping her. “We’re definitely doing that. Go get the strap on. I know you brought it.”

  
  
  
  


“IT’S NOT EXACTLY a state secret.”

They were sitting side by side, propped against the headboard with a couple pillows behind each of their backs. A large bottle of water Maria took out from the bottom of Natasha’s refrigerator was being passed back and forth between them.

It had been nearly a half-hour since their latest round of sex ended with Natasha again being pleasured by her girlfriend, this time with the aid of a strap-on dildo. They had agreed early on in their relationship that if they wanted something in bed they would say it. 

_“Shy girls don’t come,” Natasha had quipped when she proffered the rule._

_“And unsatisfied shy girls become petty cunts who ruin everyone’s fun,” Maria had shot back._

_“Well, we can’t have that. I’m too big a fan of yours already to not give it the respect it deserves.”_

_“Awwwww. Likewise, babe.”_

Natasha now took the water bottle from Maria, marveling at how she never had picked up on the tension (albeit one-sided) between her girlfriend and one of her closest friends. She took a long swig, hydration being her main focus at the moment. Parched. That was the word. Her throat was slightly hoarse from shouting her orgasm. Her mouth dry; ironic considering she could still feel the warm slick between her thighs.

Once she swallowed the water and replaced the cap on the bottle, she set it aside. Natasha leveled her gaze at her girlfriend. “I can’t believe you hate Steve! Who hates Captain America?!”

Maria snorted. “Oh please. He throws a giant Frisbee and punches bad guys. For that we’re supposed to swoon? He’s America’s ass because they’re too nice to call him a—”

She was silenced by the hand clamped over her mouth. Natasha glared at her.

“No, no. No.”

Seconds passed. With a lift of a shoulder and a roll of her eyes, Maria seemed to relent. The hand was removed.

“Dick.” A toothy grin flashed in Natasha’s direction. 

She rolled her own eyes in response. “I suppose you hate Bucky, too?”

“What? No! Bucky’s great. Too good for Captain Awesome if you ask me. Besides, I don't hate Steve. Just think he's overrated.” 

"But you did help save him when he, Sam, and I were in a Hydra armored car that time in D.C."

She and Steve had met Sam Wilson when the trio were living and working in Washington, D.C. Sam had been working with military veterans who came home in worse shape mentally and emotionally then when they shipped out. Nowadays, he was an Avenger known as Falcon, thanks to the wingspan he handcrafted.

Maria smirked. "I saved _you_. You were bleeding for crying out loud. The guys just happened to be there."

A warm flush hit Natasha's cheeks. "You know, you're a little too good at this whole girlfriend experience."

"Ha! You just make it easy with your low expectations." Natasha smacked Maria's arm, eliciting a giggle from both. "Besides, you got me that gorgeous wrap from Wakanda that I love so much. Don't overthink it. Just be you."

Maria reached over and snatched the water from the other side of her girlfriend. She pressed a kiss onto Natasha’s sternum, tongue darting out to lick the cooling sweat from between her breasts.

“I will admit,” she held up a finger while she pulled from the bottle, “that Steve has become much more tolerable now that he and Bucky are together. He’s still my least favorite of your friends though. Sorry, babe.”

Natasha sighed. “It’s fine. I do see your point. I like to think it’s because he was suppressing his queer nature for so long. Now that he’s free to be himself with the man he’s always loved by his side, he is so much happier.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Maria nodding along.

“But yeah. That stick up his ass could be hella annoying.” She took back the bottle. 

Hands on her hips, Maria deepened her voice while making it sound like a dopey cartoon character at the same time. She even puffed out her chest as her back became ramrod straight.

“Helloooo, everybody! I’m Captain America! No big, bad Nazis on my watch!”

Water spit out of Natasha’s mouth and onto the bed’s fitted sheet. The rest of the bedding hung over the foot of the bed, spilling onto the floor. She was laughing hysterically, bent over with her head nearly touching the sheet, legs open slightly and bent at the knees.

Joining her in hysterics, Maria had her hand over her heart and one on Natasha’s back. “I don't know where the hell that came from!”

The admission only made them laugh harder. Maria rested her forehead on her girlfriend’s shoulder, while Natasha had one hand on Maria’s inner thigh. It was a full minute later that they were able to calm down enough to breathe.

“That was so wrong….” Natasha began.

“And yet, you nearly busted a gut!” Maria grinned.

“You are totally going to out me on this, aren’t you?”

“Not till the time is right, m’dear.”

“Well played.”

“Thank you. Now kiss me. I’ll stay quiet longer if my lips are otherwise occupied.”

Eyebrow raised, the corner of Natasha’s mouth quirked. “My pleasure….” 

She swung her leg over her girlfriend’s lap so she was straddling Maria. Her hands caressed Maria’s sides as she leaned in just enough to flick her tongue out, teasing those lips with it. Again, she did this. Her lips brushed against Maria’s, which parted enough to give Natasha the access she desired.

“...and yours.”

Maria moaned into her lover’s mouth as Natasha devoured hers, sweeping her tongue throughout the expanse as she claimed it for her own. Their tongues danced, tangling, and parting and rubbing, while their lips chased each other.

When they parted to catch their breath, Maria licked and kissed the soft spot in the middle of Natasha’s collarbone while Natasha pressed her lips to Maria’s forehead. They held each other like this for awhile. 

Ever so slowly, Natasha’s hands began to move up Maria’s torso till they were fondling her breasts. She saw the question in those blue eyes. In response, Natasha dipped her head to take one nipple between her lips, suckling it with abandon. After doing the same with the other — delighting in how Maria bucked and arched her back both times — Natasha left a swath of kisses over her girlfriend’s stomach as she moved lower. 

“I’ve never made love to my girlfriend before.” She nuzzled Maria’s pubic hair, breathing in her sweet scent. “I’ll be sure to make it memorable.”

Their eyes met, pupils blown with lust. “But only if you call me by name.”

Without hesitation, Maria breathed, “ _Lisichka_.”

Pulling herself up so their faces were a hair’s breadth apart, Natasha tucked a strand of brown hair behind Maria’s ear. “ _Zhizn moya_.”

Tears pooled in Maria’s eyes when she heard the woman she adored declare Maria was her life. She grazed her fingertips over Natasha’s cheeks, staring deep into her eyes as she did so. Smiling, she huffed a laugh when Natasha sunk back down between her thighs and moaned sinfully as she was gradually brought into the stratosphere by that beautiful mouth and those determined fingers.

Air struggled to fill her lungs.

Her heart pounded in her chest.

She had forgotten how to breathe for a few seconds.

Lips against her pale skin glistened with sweat.

A reminder; snapped back to reality by such a simple gesture.

Only it wasn’t simple.

Nothing about the woman to whom those lips belonged was simple.

Nor were her feelings about the woman who lay with her.

It felt natural to show their love for each other after years of avoiding their feelings out of fears great and small, rational, and irrational. Not everything was within their control, but deciding to embrace their love was. In each other’s arms, the future was brighter than they thought it ever could be.


End file.
